FOOTBALL FARSIDE

MRS DOUBTFIRE V HUGHSIE

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 11:27:21 -0500

Is Mark Hughes really any better than Neil Warnock? I despair

Deano Saunders and his double

Mon, 03 Oct 2011 05:13:05 -0400

Big SHOUT out award contenders this week was a toughie. Cheltenham’s away win at the Pirates, Charlton’s fine win at the Blades or perhaps Fulham’s spanking of QPR? No? What about the mighty Huddersfield Town’s win at Brentford… Clarkie’s sides amazing 36 match unbeaten run continues.

None of these, arise Sir Dean Saunders for masterminding Donny Rovers first away win at the in-form Posh. According to Saunders “We didn’t deserve to win”.

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrr.........Trevor Brooking

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 14:40:00 -0400

This post essentially started in my head ages ago, when Trevor Brooking, Errrrrr…. Sir Trevor Brooking, was at the height of his co-commentating/punditry art. With incisive, thought-provoking and devasting repartee with the BBC big-guns, we became accustomed to the likes of “Errrrrr, corner to Liverpool”, “Er…. well Cole’s had a shot with his left foot and its gone just wide”. Errrrrrr….. Hello, McFly! His style of describing exactly what he saw, was excessively dull, a la Big Al!

I was also prompted to write this post after reading a large amount of ‘bad’ press that Gary Neville received on Teamtalk after his recent rambles on Skysports. I can’t profess to be a lover of Mr.Neville in a red shirt [rephrase: hated his puffed-out-chest, hard-man’s walk attitude], however, I thought some of comments to be reasonably interesting! So whilst he may be saved this time around, I’ll be watching….. so here goes, in no particular order

Errrrr….

1. Alan Shearer - Sorry Al, I truly loved you as player, but your punditry stinks!

2. Trevor Brooking - See above

3. Brian Marwood - Just cause he obviously hates the Toon and can’t remain impartial

4. Chris Twaddle - Another ex-hero, simply useless insights and zero passion

5. Chris Kamara - Controversial inclusion… But novelty factor wearing thin now

6. Peter Beagrie - Makes list for his deadpan, Bob Mortimer-style delivery, or is it?

7. Garth Crooks - over-egging every situation, finger-wagging tit

8. John Barnes - Cant even deliver from an auto cue.. what were C5 thinking of?

9. Tony Cascarino - Bumbling, personality-less, gappy toothed idiot

10. Pob C Palmer - Truly rhubarb player, even worse co-com

Tinker Man!

Fri, 16 Sep 2011 07:22:00 -0400

Regular Super-Villain, Gary Oldman comes up against a new arch rival in the baggy form of Mark Lawrenson in this week’s instalment of Pin The Tail on the Donkey, aka Lawro’s Predictions. Richard Archer, of Hard-Fi, spanked him last week BTW.

“Oh, I saaay! Viv Anderson with a beauty!”

Fri, 16 Sep 2011 05:23:00 -0400

MY TOP 5 COMMENTATORS

We all have our favourites for different reasons, particular matches, airwave legends, tongue tied idiots or sheep skinned rambling, cliche infested fools. Its hard to quantify who the best is. My choice isn’t based on anything factual and there were loads I went through, just to get five. I started out with Motty in there, but after careful deliberation, I relegated him to the bench, as I decided he annoyed me more than I actually like him!

1. Peter Brackley (Channel4/ITV/Sky)

Smooth voiced, Sunday afternoons watching Football Italia in the 90’s an for the banter with Wilkins. #42 in the Daily Mail’s all time commentator list!

2. Barry Davies (BBC)

BBC’s Mr.Versatile often dragged into doing the gymnastics, swimming or pie throwing. Sometimes over shadowed by Motty, but for me left the cliches at home.

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3. Peter Jones (BBC Radio)

Before Sky, there was a different way of keeping in touch with the Saturday afternoon scores (yes, Saturday). It was a device called Radio and PJ was the daddy. His unforgetable words after the Hillsborough disaster at 5pm on that evening still stuck in my head.

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4. Brian Moore (BBC, ITV, Sky)

ITV’s “Voice of Football”, Mr. Unflappable. In the days when ITV’s coverage was crap (no change there then), was the only reason anyone tuned in.

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5. Jonathan Pearce (C5, BBC)

Controversial appointment. I used to hate him, but he gradually grew on me with his exaggerated passion. It seems that everything is exciting for Pearce.

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Subs bench: Tyler, Lillelian, Motson, Harrison, Champion, Dury, Gubba, Bloom, Darke, Butler, Macpherson, Coleman, Walstenholme

LOOK OUT FOR MY TOP 5 PUNDITS AND PUNDIT IDIOTS

Graphic Design meets soccer legends. I couldn’t find the...

Thu, 15 Sep 2011 10:45:19 -0400

Graphic Design meets soccer legends. I couldn’t find the one of Shola for some reason! copyright Zoran Lucic. Be worth a fortune in a few years fella

Seaside Spanking

Sat, 10 Sep 2011 17:59:03 -0400

As impressive as Rooney and Co were in the teatime thrashing of Bolton, today’s Team of the day award surely must go to Morecambe. 6-0 victors against high-flying Crawley must have warmed the cockles of the hearts of their fans! Let’s see what tomorrows brings…

Lawro No

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 10:12:54 -0400

A bizarre combination sees BBC‘s Football Focus favourite pundit, Lawro put his reputation on the line against Hard-Fi‘s Richard Archer. Prediction‘s based shennanigans and puns The Sun would be proud of.

Lawro on you tube - Funny

Photo

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 09:31:41 -0400

Theatre of Dreams?

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 09:29:20 -0400

There‘s a new football film coming out (groans everywhere), which tells the fictional story of Sir Matt Busby who helps 11-year-old tearaway Georgie (played by a 10 year old Jack Smith from Tameside) fulfil his footballing dream, whilst putting his own demons of the Busby Babes to rest.

Directed by Manchester born David Scheinmann, the film will be distributed in the UK in 2012 by Trinity Films, who are also co-financing it.

Brian Cox (not the one out of D:Ream), plays Sir Matt

Think Billy Elliott meets Bend it Like Beckham, oh, and er, it says 97mins running time, however there will be an additional 5 minutes added for no reason at the end!

Lots more info, trailer and interviews here

"They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Highway and he’s nothing like him, but I can see why -..."

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 07:14:00 -0400

“They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Highway and he’s nothing like him, but I can see why - it’s because he’s a bit different””

- Kevin Keegan

Its a hard life being a Newcastle fan!

Fri, 09 Sep 2011 07:05:00 -0400

Right! I‘ll try to be as unbiased as I can throughout this blog, my team is the Toon (It may be difficult at times, Im sure you will all understand).

Ok, now thats out of the way, I will crack on! I have been pondering this blog for ages now, planning things in my head on the way down the A1 after a game, trying to decipher and angle for writing. There are loads of football blogs out there, all pretty good to be fair… we all have our favourites for different reasons. I want to create an irreverent blog..I wont be posting team news, results, predictions (well maybe the odd one or two) or how Mr.Cashley should spend his hard earned. I want to discuss, inform, chat, rant on subjects such as classic games, players or perhaps the state of the pre-match entertainment at your ground, the crap graphics in programs perhaps? Anything to be honest. (ideas welcome too).

Upcoming rants/ articles

BBC v SKY online coverage
What to do when your team is playing, but you cant get to the game, no TV/radio coverage.
Sneaking off whilst on holiday to catch the opening day fixtures (and the bloody detailed research involved)
Top Tens (got some beauties)

Just want to give the boys a big up at nufc.com for years of consistent, entertaining, witty, indepth scrawl- keep it up. Any others out there you think are worthy of a mention?